Thursday, August 20, 2020
good morning, MIT
good morning, MIT All words beyond this introduction belong to Piper L. 17 (who is no stranger to the blogs), and she has kindly allowed me to share them. I think they need to be heard by more people. Here is her original post. This week has been really tough and really strange for everyone on campus, and she does a beautiful job trying to express the ineffable. No amount of words will be enough to completely address this topic, but her thoughts are a very good start. good morning, MITâ"i didnât sleep last night. right now, itâs 8:30 AM. hello. let me introduce myself. my name is Piper. i live in East Campus, on second east. iâm a sophomore. iâm from Indiana. and if you read the Tech article, or if you read President Reifâs email, those were the same factsâ"name, year, dorm, hall, and home stateâ"given about Matthew. if you hadnât ever met him, thatâs what you know now. name. year. dorm. hall. home state. thatâs all. those thingsâ"theyâre words on your laptop monitor, or on your phone. us EC residentsâ"we were notified of his death before the rest of campus was, early Sunday morning, by a short and somber email from our housemaster. words on a screen. thereâve now been social media posts and personal emails and public emails and text messages and news articles, about what happened. words on a screen. last night, because i hadnât read it yet, i searched for the Boston Globe article that i knew would have been written. i found it. i read it. and then i searched for the MIT admissions blog post that i knew would have been written. i didnât find it. so now iâm writing something resembling it, about what happened. words on a screen. screens are flat. people arent. Matthew was a classmate of mine. in a class called Math for Computer Science, or 6.042, as most undergrads call it. hereâs how 6.042 worksâ"weâre put into âteamsâ of 7â"8 students, and we stay in these teams the whole semester. itâs a discussion-based class. we work our way through in-class problems by talking with our teammates. inevitably, we get to know each other (a bit), because, well, we talk to each other. section 1â"2:30 PM, team D. thatâs my team. that was also Matthewâs team. i usually sat next to him. the Monday before he died, i borrowed his laptop to look up theorems i should have learned before coming to class, and i joked about being too lazy to bring my own laptop. i canât remember if i thanked him. the Monday after he died, i walked into class and sat in my usual chair, and thought about how a young mindâ"something with so much depth and dimension and complexityâ"could be flattened into words on a screen. and then i threw myself at the in-class problems, because i didnât want to start crying at one in the afternoon for the second day in a row. he was my teammate. i sat next to him three days a week. did i know him? i donât think i did. i didnât know enough about him to add anything new to everyone elseâs descriptions of him. âtall, on the lanky side, short dark hair.â âquiet, nice, hard-working, and kept to himself.â name. year. dorm. hall. home state. what an absurdly insufficient representation of a person, isnât it? â"â"â"â"â" iâm lucky. in the wake of what happened, the immediate and tremendous support iâve received from friends, classmates, counselors, mentors, and professors cannot be emphasized enough, and iâm beyond grateful. iâm back on my metaphorical feet because of them, and i think iâm okay. and now that i think iâm okay, this is how iâm trying to sort out my thoughts. typing words on a screen that i know are not enough and will never be enough. my apologies that this is not a feel-good post. i do have many strong opinions on the immense values of friendship and human connection, the issues surrounding mental health and mental disorders, and other such important topics. but i donât think theyâd be properly explored and explained in this kind of post. this is just me. i can try to say that iâm writing in remembrance of Matthew, but this is just me, writing about myself, which is kind of selfish, really. iâm writing about what i know, and i donât feel as if i can fairly say that i knew Matthew; but i do feel as if i know myself (a bit), so this postâ"this is just me, and these are my disjointed, sprawling thoughts. hello. you can call me Piper, but thatâs not my legal nameâ"Piper is a nickname some old friends gave me. my favorite type of candy is black licorice. i know how to make a lot of balloon animals and hats. sometimes when i run outside, i daydream that i have wings that help propel me along. i wish i knew my younger siblings better. i want to learn the piano, but iâm worried my hands are too small. i went through a phase in high school where i insisted on wearing mismatched socks. good morning, MIT. if youâre reading this, you now know me (a bit). from the type of things iâve told you, we could probably be considered friends. so do me a favor, friend. recognize that the people that surround you are wonderfully strange and intricate and colorful characters that are so, so much more than a few flat words on a screen. marvel at this fact. and then talk to each other. maybe have a discussion, work through a problem or two together, and get to know each other (more than a bit). itâs easier than you think. itâs almost noon, now. i think iâll go and take a nap. â"â"â"â"â" for those who need, here are some people you can talk with. Call 24/7: 1â"800â"273â"8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) Call 24/7: 877-870â"4673 (Boston Samaritansâ Hotline) Text 24/7: text âANSWERâ to 839863 (Crisis Call Center)
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